Child Marriage & Illicit Sexual Relations: How True Islam Forbids it

By Bilaal Dar

Introduction

Is child marriage permitted in Islam? Regrettably, in the age of social media, it is often abusive scholars and those who are quick to takfeer [declaring another Muslim as a disbeliever] that gain great following. The most hard-line opinion is taken to be the real truth, with all other opinions considered to be nothing more than a watered-down adulteration. It seems all that is necessary for someone to become an internet scholar is for them to be able to speak a few words of Arabic with the correct pronunciation.

Instead, the condition of the Muslims today is exactly as the Holy Prophet ﷺ prophesied it would be:

وَعَنْ عَلِيٍّ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: يُوشِكُ أَنْ يَأْتِيَ عَلَى النَّاسِ زَمَانٌ لَا يَبْقَى مِنَ الْإِسْلَامِ إِلَّا اسْمُهُ وَلَا يَبْقَى مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ إِلَّا رَسْمُهُ مَسَاجِدُهُمْ عَامِرَةٌ وَهِيَ خَرَابٌ مِنَ الْهُدَى عُلَمَاؤُهُمْ شَرُّ مَنْ تَحْتَ أَدِيمِ السَّمَاءِ مِنْ عِنْدِهِمْ تَخْرُجُ الْفِتْنَةُ وَفِيهِمْ تَعُودُ

Ali reported God’s Messenger as saying: “A time is soon coming to mankind when nothing of Islam but its name will remain and only the written form of the Qur’an will remain. Their mosques will be in fine condition but will be devoid of guidance, their Ulema will be the worst people under heaven, corruption coming forth from them and returning among them.“

Mishkat al-Masabih 276

One particularly malicious way this hadith has manifested is that a party of modern-day scholars believe that child marriage and illicit sexual relations with minors are permissible. One can find many, many examples cross both the Sunni and Shia scholarship advocating this heinous position. We have chosen not to repeat their or quote their works in this refutation for fear of spreading false beliefs unnecessarily. Instead, in this article, we will refute this abhorrent notion and undo the works of those so-called scholars, through the enlightened commentary of the Quran.

In doing so, we will demonstrate the value and necessity of the coming of the Promised Messiah and Imam Mahdi, Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad (as), who came to correct the false beliefs that had entered into the body of Islam. Some critics of Islam Ahmadiyya claim that the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community lacks scholarship. What they mean is that we lack the ability to discard the words of the Holy Qur’an on the altar of our trust and belief in our preferred medieval scholars. By this definition, they are correct. But by all valid definitions of Islam scholarship, they are profoundly wrong.

As we shall show in this article, it is the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community that is at the forefront of countering false beliefs that have been introduced through true scholarship. We shall demonstrate the truth of the maxim of the Holy Qur’an, which defines true scholarship in the following manner:

اِنَّمَا یَخۡشَی اللّٰہَ مِنۡ عِبَادِہِ الۡعُلَمٰٓؤُا

“Indeed, the Ulema [Islamic scholars] are those who fear Allah.”

Holy Quran 35:29

Worryingly, there are far more quotes than is possible for us to include in this article. We do not doubt that the majority of layman Muslims reject these views. However, as secular modern values are increasingly rejected, and societal values become progressively more religious, it is frightening to think what the future might hold if these false beliefs are not countered from the religious standpoint.

The True Islamic Teaching

In total contrast, the Ahmadiyya Muslim Jama’ah (Community) remains firm in opposing this dangerous misconception and restoring Islam to its true and original teachings. Islam positively prohibits the pre-pubescent consummation of marriage. In fact, the coming of age is seen as a necessary requirement in Ahmadiyya Islamic jurisprudence, and even has its own chapter in the book Fiqh Ahmadiyya (Ahmadiyya Jurisprudence):

We will now present the basis of this Islamic teaching from the Qur’an and Hadith.

Sexual Relations Only with Adult Females: Nisa’ (نساء)

The Qur’an only permits sexual relations with adult females. Nowhere does it mention that a man can have sexual relations with minors. Rather, the Qur’an instructs Muslim men in 4:4:

فَانۡکِحُوۡا مَا طَابَ لَکُمۡ مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ

Marry of the women (Arabic – nisa’) as may me agreeable to you.

Holy Quran 4:4

The term nisa’ (نساء) is the plural of the word mar’ah (مرأة), meaning an adult woman. This is the feminine of the word mar’ (مرء) meaning adult man. Lane’s Lexicon, a famous classical Arabic dictionary, defines mar’ (مرء) as “a man as opposed to a child”, thus demonstrating that defining nisa’ (نساء) as a pre-pubescent child, is totally out of the question.

Another meaning given is that of “a perfect ie: fully developed, man / woman”. Can a woman be said to be fully developed prior to puberty? Quite the contrary!

The translation of the above is: Mar (مرأ): Chivalry: The perfection of manhood. This is the definition given by Lisan Al Arab of the masculine of mar’ah (مرأة). Perfection here signifies the completion of all aspects of manhood. Just as a boy cannot be referred to as a consummation of the qualities of manhood, a girl cannot be referred to as a fully developed and consummate female. Since nisa’ (نساء) is the plural of the word mar’ah (مرأة), which is the feminine form of Mar (مرأ), these simple meanings mean that a child cannot be referred to as nisa’ (نساء).

Not only this, but the Qur’an itself uses the word to specifically refer to menstruating women in other places. This leaves no room for doubt on the issue – a woman must have reached the age of puberty to consummate the marriage. Where different national legislatures stipulate that age cut-off is dependent on culture, time, civilisation etc. However, the religious principle given by the Qur’an is clear: sexual consummation of any nature with a pre-pubescent child, is impermissible.

Qur’anic Verses on Marriage

The Qur’an is believed by Muslims to be the revealed word of God. It is the basis of the Muslim creed. No ruling can contradict the Qur’an, and if it does so, then such a ruling falls outside the pale of Islam. Therefore, to comprehensively show that conjugal relations with minors is prohibited, we will now go through verses in the Qur’an concerning the rulings of marriage (and some extra verses on related issues).

For the sake of brevity, we have in some instances only included the parts of the verse which are relevant, not the entire verse.

The Purpose of Marriage

اُحِلَّ لَکُمۡ لَیۡلَۃَ الصِّیَامِ الرَّفَثُ اِلٰی نِسَآئِکُمۡ ؕ ہُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّکُمۡ وَاَنۡتُمۡ لِبَاسٌ لَّہُنَّ ؕ عَلِمَ اللّٰہُ اَنَّکُمۡ کُنۡتُمۡ تَخۡتَانُوۡنَ اَنۡفُسَکُمۡ فَتَابَ عَلَیۡکُمۡ وَعَفَا عَنۡکُمۡ ۚ فَالۡـٰٔنَ بَاشِرُوۡہُنَّ وَابۡتَغُوۡا مَا کَتَبَ اللّٰہُ لَکُمۡ

“It is made lawful for you to go in unto your wives (nisa’) on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them. Allah knows that you have been acting unjustly to yourselves, wherefore He has turned to you with mercy and afforded you relief. So you may now go in unto them and seek what Allah has ordained for you…“

Holy Quran 2:188

نِسَآؤُکُمۡ حَرۡثٌ لَّکُمۡ ۪ فَاۡتُوۡا حَرۡثَکُمۡ اَنّٰی شِئۡتُمۡ ۫ وَقَدِّمُوۡا لِاَنۡفُسِکُمۡ ؕ وَاتَّقُوا اللّٰہَ وَاعۡلَمُوۡۤا اَنَّکُمۡ مُّلٰقُوۡہُ ؕ وَبَشِّرِ الۡمُؤۡمِنِیۡنَ

“Your wives are a tilth for you; so approach your tilth when and how you like and send ahead some good for yourselves; and fear Allah and know that you shall meet Him; and give good tidings to those who obey.”

Holy Quran 2:224

Note: The words and seek what Allah has ordained for you and send ahead some good for yourselves specifically refer to having children, which, by definition, cannot happen with prepubescent minors. Therefore, a crucial purpose of marriage is not fulfilled by having sexual relations with minors! Another similar verse is:

ہُوَ الَّذِیۡ خَلَقَکُمۡ مِّنۡ نَّفۡسٍ وَّاحِدَۃٍ وَّجَعَلَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَہَا لِیَسۡکُنَ اِلَیۡہَا ۚ فَلَمَّا تَغَشّٰہَا حَمَلَتۡ حَمۡلًا خَفِیۡفًا فَمَرَّتۡ بِہٖ ۚ فَلَمَّاۤ اَثۡقَلَتۡ دَّعَوَا اللّٰہَ رَبَّہُمَا لَئِنۡ اٰتَیۡتَنَا صَالِحًا لَّنَکُوۡنَنَّ مِنَ الشّٰکِرِیۡنَ

“He it is Who has created you from a single soul, and made therefrom its mate, that he might find comfort in her. And when he knows her, she bears a light burden, and goes about with it. And when she grows heavy, they both pray to Allah, their Lord, saying: ‘If Thou give us a good child, we will surely be of the thankful.’“

Holy Quran 7:190

Once again, the Qur’an reminds us that one of the primary objectives of marriage is having righteous offspring, which cannot be fulfilled with prepubescent minors.

Mate-Selection Requires Adults

وَلَا تَنۡکِحُوا الۡمُشۡرِکٰتِ حَتّٰی یُؤۡمِنَّ ؕ وَلَاَمَۃٌ مُّؤۡمِنَۃٌ خَیۡرٌ مِّنۡ مُّشۡرِکَۃٍ وَّلَوۡ اَعۡجَبَتۡکُمۡ 

And marry not idolatrous women until they believe; a believing bond-woman is better than an idolatress, although she may highly please you.

Holy Quran 2:222

The Qur’an very clearly states here that religious and moral values should be the basis of one’s marriage. Since children are innocent and do not have the capacity to exhibit religious qualities or decision-making capabilities, how can one marry a child based on their religious values?

Divorce Commandments Prove Marriage to Adults Necessary

لِلَّذِیۡنَ یُؤۡلُوۡنَ مِنۡ نِّسَآئِہِمۡ تَرَبُّصُ اَرۡبَعَۃِ اَشۡہُرٍ

“For those who vow abstinence from their wives, the maximum period of waiting is four months.”

Holy Quran 2:227

وَالۡمُطَلَّقٰتُ یَتَرَبَّصۡنَ بِاَنۡفُسِہِنَّ ثَلٰثَۃَ قُرُوۡٓءٍ

“And the divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three courses.”

Holy Quran 2:229

The purport behind the Iddat (mourning) period prescribed in Islam is so that enough time is given for the marks of pregnancy to become clear if the couple had conceived. This way, there would be no issue of determining the child’s father. Once again, this verse cannot apply to girls who haven’t started menstruating.

Mental Maturity Determines Age of Marriage

وَابۡتَلُوا الۡیَتٰمٰی حَتّٰۤی اِذَا بَلَغُوا النِّکَاحَ فَاِنۡ اٰنَسۡتُمۡ مِّنۡہُمۡ رُشۡدًا فَادۡفَعُوۡۤا اِلَیۡہِمۡ اَمۡوَالَہُمۡ

“And test the orphans until they attain the age of marriage; then, if you find in them sound judgment, deliver to them their property…”

Holy Quran 4:7

The Qur’an hints at a relationship between the age one would get married and the age of reaching intellectual maturity, enough to be able to administer over their own property. Would anyone trust a prepubescent with the management of wealth and property?

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ on Marriage

In essence, the argument critics make is that Islam allows for pedophilia. It is hard to express how far from the truth this statement is.

Pedophilia is a culmination of sexual urges and tendencies towards minors. This is completely forbidden and prohibited in Islam. Muslims have been very clearly instructed to control their sexual urges in both the Qur’an and the Hadith:

قُلۡ لِّلۡمُؤۡمِنِیۡنَ یَغُضُّوۡا مِنۡ اَبۡصَارِہِمۡ وَیَحۡفَظُوۡا فُرُوۡجَہُمۡ ؕ ذٰلِکَ اَزۡکٰی لَہُمۡ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰہَ خَبِیۡرٌۢ بِمَا یَصۡنَعُوۡنَ 

“Say to the believers that they restrain their eyes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely, Allah is well aware of what they do.”

Holy Quran 24:31

As the eyes are the primary source of sensual desire, Muslims have been told to keep them lowered lest they fall upon something which could arouse them. Not only this, but the words guard their private parts (یَحۡفَظُوۡا فُرُوۡجَہُمۡ) have been explained to mean all avenues which could incite someone’s desire towards sin. Commenting on this verse, the Promised Messiah عليه السلام writes:

(Believers are admonished to) “restrain one’s eyes from gazing on those who are outside the prohibited degrees; to restrain one’s ears from listening to their voices and to avoid descriptions of their good looks; to avoid occasions which might furnish incitement towards this vice; and to control oneself during the period of celibacy through fasting, dieting etc.”

The Philosophy of the Teachings of Islam, pp. 46-47

The only legitimate way of fulfilling a sexual desire is with one’s wife – which has to be an adult woman, as we have shown from the Qur’an! The controlling of one’s sexual desires is so important that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has specifically instructed Muslims that they should even get married to protect themselves from falling into sin. He ﷺ said:

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏ “‏ يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏”

The Messenger of Allah said “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will diminish his desire.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 5066

So, even if a Muslim is unable to get married and fulfil their desire legitimately, this is no excuse for them to fall prey to it. They must ensure they lower their gaze and take to fasting to ward off all inciteful thoughts. Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave very clear instructions to Muslims on what they should be looking for in their spouse:

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ ‏”‏‏.‏

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet ﷺ said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

Sahih al-Bukhari 5090

Once again, we see how the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has instructed Muslims to put their sexual urges to the side when deciding a life partner. He instead tells us to focus on the person’s deen. This word relates to their way of life, characte, beliefs and adherence ot Islamic teachings. This, in itself, is an effective refutation to the allegation of pedophilia; how can a person determine the character and beliefs of a child? It is totally impossible! Praying is not obligatory on a child, neither is fasting. They do not earn money and so zakat (charity) is not applicable on them. What qualities could the person look to in order to determine the deen of a child? How, then, can we even entertain the idea that Islam allows sexual relations with minors?

So Where Does the False Idea Come From?

It is clear that Islam does not allow for the consummation of marriage with minors. Why then, does this notion still persist? Unfortunately, some Muslims and non-Muslim critics base their ideas off two misunderstandings; one from the Qur’an, and one from the Hadith.

Qur’anic Misrepresentation

A number of scholars and layman alike have erred due to wrongful interpretation of the Qur’an 65:5, wherein it is stated:

وَالّٰٓئِیۡ یَئِسۡنَ مِنَ الۡمَحِیۡضِ مِنۡ نِّسَآئِکُمۡ اِنِ ارۡتَبۡتُمۡ فَعِدَّتُہُنَّ ثَلٰثَۃُ اَشۡہُرٍ ۙ وَّالّٰٓئِیۡ لَمۡ یَحِضۡنَ ؕ وَاُولَاتُ الۡاَحۡمَالِ اَجَلُہُنَّ اَنۡ یَّضَعۡنَ حَمۡلَہُنَّ ؕ وَمَنۡ یَّتَّقِ اللّٰہَ یَجۡعَلۡ لَّہٗ مِنۡ اَمۡرِہٖ یُسۡرًا 

“And if you are in doubt (to wait to remarry after the divorce or demise of their husband) as to such of your women as despair of monthly courses, then know that the prescribed period for them is three months, and the same is for such as have not had their monthly courses. And as for those who are with child, their period shall be until they are delivered of their burden. And whoso fears Allah, He will provide facilities for him in his affair.“

Holy Quran 65:5

Those who allege that the Qur’an permits pedophilia, have taken the words for such as have not had their monthly courses, to mean “prepubescent girls”.

Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad رحمه الله the fourth Khalifa of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, has explained that the words for such as have not had their monthly courses mean “Not had their (regular) menses (yet), or do not have menses (altogether). These are the two possibilities. So ‘not had their (regular) menses’ means those who have not yet had their menses after divorce, but according to their age, they should be getting their menses, so for them there is still that waiting period of 3 months. However, also included in ‘do not have menses (altogether)’ are those who are infertile and do not menstruate.” (Nov 18, 1998, Tarjamatul Qur’an, minute 54:00).

As we can see, there is no indication here that prepubescent girls are the subject of this verse. Rather, it only refers to women who have not yet menstruated but normally menstruate, or those who do not menstruate due to a medical condition.

Indeed, thereare many reasons which may cause a woman’s menstrual cycle to become irregular, particularly in the context of divorce or the demise of their partner. Depression, stress and weight fluctuation have all been linked with menstrual irregularities. It is therefore extremely wise that the Qur’an instructs us to wait three months even in those who may have previously had their periods regularly.

How Do We Know the Correct Interpretation?

At this point, some may be wondering whether it could be argued that there are multiple ways of interpreting this verse; therefore, those who wish to interpret it to allow for conjugal relations with minors may do so and would be right in saying the Qur’an justifies their actions, for it comes down to a mere difference in interpretation.

However, this is not the case. The Qur’an itself shows us exactly how it should be interpreted in 3:8:

ہُوَ الَّذِیۡۤ اَنۡزَلَ عَلَیۡکَ الۡکِتٰبَ مِنۡہُ اٰیٰتٌ مُّحۡکَمٰتٌ ہُنَّ اُمُّ الۡکِتٰبِ وَاُخَرُ مُتَشٰبِہٰتٌ ؕ فَاَمَّا الَّذِیۡنَ فِیۡ قُلُوۡبِہِمۡ زَیۡغٌ فَیَتَّبِعُوۡنَ مَا تَشَابَہَ مِنۡہُ ابۡتِغَآءَ الۡفِتۡنَۃِ وَابۡتِغَآءَ تَاۡوِیۡلِہٖ ۚ؃ وَمَا یَعۡلَمُ تَاۡوِیۡلَہٗۤ اِلَّا اللّٰہُ ۘؔ وَالرّٰسِخُوۡنَ فِی الۡعِلۡمِ یَقُوۡلُوۡنَ اٰمَنَّا بِہٖ ۙ کُلٌّ مِّنۡ عِنۡدِ رَبِّنَا ۚ وَمَا یَذَّکَّرُ اِلَّاۤ اُولُوا الۡاَلۡبَابِ 

“He it is Who has sent down to thee the Book; in it there are verses that are decisive in meaning — they are the basis of the Book — and there are others that are susceptible of different interpretations. But those in whose hearts is perversity pursue such thereof as are susceptible of different interpretations, seeking discord and seeking wrong interpretation of it. And none knows its right interpretation except Allah and those who are firmly grounded in knowledge; they say, ‘We believe in it; the whole is from our Lord.’ — And none heed except those gifted with understanding.“

Holy Quran 3:8

This verse means to say that verses that are susceptible to interpretation must be interpreted in light of the verses which are unambiguous and clear cut. It further says that those in whose hearts is perversity only seek to base their judgements off verses susceptible to interpretation and disregard the decisive verses.

In the matter of conjugal relations, the decisive verses are very clear: it is only permissible with nisa’ (نساء). This is established through the examples provided earlier, from multiple different aspects. Any interpretation that contradicts these clear meanings goes against the Qur’an.

Hadith Misrepresentation

A common allegation critics of Islam make against the noble character of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is that he married his wife A’isha (ra) whilst she was only 6. The Promised Messiah (as), Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, who came to remove misconceptions in Islam, totally dismissed this theory as erroneous. The reality is that A’isha was well into her teens when she was married, as has been persuasively shown in this article here.

Interestingly, one hadith critics like to cite is the following:

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ كَانَ الْحَبَشُ يَلْعَبُونَ بِحِرَابِهِمْ، فَسَتَرَنِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأَنَا أَنْظُرُ، فَمَا زِلْتُ أَنْظُرُ حَتَّى كُنْتُ أَنَا أَنْصَرِفُ فَاقْدُرُوا قَدْرَ الْجَارِيَةِ الْحَدِيثَةِ السِّنِّ تَسْمَعُ اللَّهْوَ‏.‏ 

A’isha (ra) said, “While the Ethiopians were playing with their small spears, Allah’s Messenger ﷺ screened me behind him and I watched (that display) and kept on watching till I left on my own.” So you may estimate of what age a little girl may listen to amusement.

Sahih al-Bukhari 5190

They take the words “little girl” (الجارية الحديثة السن) to mean prepubescent. However, what they fail to realise is that A’isha رضی اللہ عنھا herself has defined the very same words in another narration to refer to herself as having had menses! This is a word that literally means, “recently come of age” and therefore refers to a young woman, rather than a child.

Conclusion

Firstly, the Qur’an only permits men to have conjugal relations with adult females, as defined by the word nisa’ (نساء).

To summarise, there are multiple ways we have shown that Islam completely prohibits sexual relations with minors.

Secondly, the Qur’an and Hadith admonish Muslim men (and women, separately) to control their sexual desires, and the only legitimate way for a man to fulfil them is with one’s spouse – who must be nisa’ (نساء) – an adult female.

Thirdly, the Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ specifically instruct Muslims to look towards piety for marriage – which can only be determined by one who has passed puberty and reached maturity.

The false premise of permission to have sexual relations with minors is just one of many misinterpretations that have overtaken modern day scholars. When reflecting upon their condition, we should remember the dire need for a reformer, which, by the grace of Allah the Almighty, was fulfilled in the person of Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad رضي الله عنه of Qadian, the Promised Messiah and Imam Mahdi.